Little-Known Commencement Facts
Apr 27, 2017 | Insights
- University Mace contains water cannon in case the crowd gets unruly.
- To date, zero complaints that “there just weren’t enough speeches.”
- Presidential Medallion contains unknown material recovered from Area 51.
- Provost keeps a car running in the Gold Lot in case there’s trouble.
- Sharp-eyed audience members can spot the faculty grading furiously.
- Video stream of the ceremony won a Golden Globe in 1996.
- Diploma covers include an “academic frequent flyer” card: earn ten degrees from WSU and your eleventh degree is half-price!
- WSU’s “Alma Mater” was a top-forty hit for “The Captain and Tennille” in 1976 (B-side: “Muskrat Love”).
- Cabinet members follow medieval tradition of wearing 50 lbs. of chain mail under their robes.
- It doesn’t matter how many times we do this: every single participant will miss these students when they’re gone!